National Database Clearinghouse: Google Pizza Runs Your Life

Guest Post; The following CALLER & GOOGLE excerpt has been floating in cyberspace with different versions since 2007. Original author unknown. The final paragraph was added by Michelle as a timely reminder that should probably be sent to Federal Legislators and State Boards of Education and perhaps local boards. Maybe they will care when this happens to them…

 

CALLER: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered
an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms
and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,
sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How the ### do you know?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take
medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.
According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol
tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE ####?
GOOGLE: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and
all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV,
where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…”

And the National Data Base Lobbyists are Headed to DC to finalize the “Data Clearinghouse ” that is primarily on you, your kids Medical, your College age kids, your K-12 kids, your  Preschool kids, your grandkids, and even kids your thinking about having…

Just sayin’

Michelle Moore